late night day-dreamer

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
shouldhavebeenahobbit
frogparty

nobody talks about it but like the fact that glasses exist is literally insane

frogparty

put fucking melted sand in front of your eyeballs and now stuff stops being blurry??? and someone figured this out fuckin hundreds of years ago?

uncle-beanbag

Glass technology evolved because of wine.

Wine used to be stored in clay pots for drinking but then people started blowing glass and realized how pretty wine was in a clear glass bottles. They also realized that glass bottles with curves magnified the image and after decades of experementation they started grinding glass with curves and sand to get that magnification. This is also where the telescope and magnifying glass came from. Eventually after telescopes and looking to the heavens were all the rage people started hand crafting reading glasses which gave their wearers an extra decade of reading with bad eyes. By the mid 1700’s they were common and Ben Franklin figured out how to combine two different magnifications into one lense. By 1900 it was incredibly common to have eyeglasses and actual perscriptions were being developed. Post WWII saw a boom in lense technology filtering down from industrial applications making it cheaper and more affordable. Now days you can typically walk into a dollar store and buy a pair of reading glasses all thanks to some glass blower a thousand years ago that liked to look at his wine.

mobius-ofc

All of human history comes down to alcohol and horses

la-volpe-bianca

don’t forget war

exigencelost

war is just an elaborate manifestation of horses. like a Pokémon evolution.

tepidtopic
huffylemon

image
ralfmaximus

Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."

I laughed. "Does that happen often?"

"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."

fem-fatalist

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

quasarkisses
sandersstudies

It’s my favorite thing when a lesbian is just like “I got extra fries with my meal, gay rights” or an enby is like “wow trans rights I just got a free gift card to the movies” or a bi dude is like “finally found a plant that won’t die, queer rights I guess.” Like that is the funniest shit I don’t care.

sandersstudies

Even better than its negative counterpart, “it’s raining, this is homophobic,” or “real transphobia is that I can’t get past this level.”

queenpotatothegreat

straight people HATE when we do this. they don’t understand it at all which makes it even better